I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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