just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
