Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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