sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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