I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
