last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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