i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
