now i know why i became what i already was.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We're too hungover to prance.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
