i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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