i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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