why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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