I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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