he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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