Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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