That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
