they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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