hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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