I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
