When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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