Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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