Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How does it feel to date your dad?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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