the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize