He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
