Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
