I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
