We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
