Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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