nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
