..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
