How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize