you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
