I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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