I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
