I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
