if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
