you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
