dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
