I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
