Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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