sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
