I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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