Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry theglassdinosaur hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(317): View more from Indiana

i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds

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(641): View more from Iowa

I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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(434): View more from Virginia

do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming

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(406): View more from Montana

Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps

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(509): View more from Washington

I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'

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(303): View more from Colorado

a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition

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