how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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