no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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