quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
