so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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