If that was your dad, he is hot
Can Purell be used as lube?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
