i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Green mimosas i think yes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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