Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize