Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
