Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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