They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
