Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
