You were right. It hurts to walk today.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
