My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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